Every office has that generous guy who’s got a stash of candy for everyone to enjoy.  At my old company, I worked with a little Italian guy from the Bronx.  Let’s call him Cosimo.  Cosimo was that guy.  His cubicle was brimming with Snickers bars, Chips Ahoy cookies, Twizzlers, Animal Crackers, etc.  If you could name it, Cosimo would have it at the ready.

Cosimo would also spring for Italian heroes from a catering place that he knew.  He’d always ask me to join him, but I would always decline, citing my perpetual need to lose weight.  But I did indulge in the junk food at his cubicle from time to time.  He never asked for donations to keep the cupboards full, and never expected any.  Needless to say, Cosimo’s selflessness was returned exponentially by his many friends.

But don’t mistake his generosity as the sign of a sucker.  When an office cheapskate started stealing lunches from the common refrigerator (the lowest form of stealing), Cosimo doled out a harsh form of justice that only he could dream up.  He set a trap for the sandwich thief by coating the inside of his bread with Wite-Out.  Yes, you read that right.  The guy got so sick that I actually felt sorry for him.  He must have tasted Liquid Paper for a week.

Beware Lunch Thieves!

My current company used to employ a similar character.  I say used to, because he was one of the victims of our recent layoff.  Patrick was of Irish descent, but he was definitely a soul brother of Cosimo.  Their generosity was a common trait.  Patrick didn’t have a mean bone in his body.

Guys like Cosimo and Patrick take the edge off of the job.  Patrick also had a candy stash, but his major contribution to office mirth was his weekly organization of the Chinese food order.  He would collect the money from everyone, phone in the order, and pick it up at the next town over.  If the restaurant messed up the order, Patrick would make another trip to pick up any omitted items.  He did this all with a smile on his face.

I bring up Cosimo and Patrick because I realize that I’ve taken them for granted.  There haven’t been any volunteers to order the Chinese food, and it looks like the weekly Chinese food routine has left with Patrick.  His absence makes the job suck much worse.

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