Posts Tagged morale

Photo by AlexK100

Today, at work, I had an encounter with a shadowy figure;  a cunning, pernicious specter;  a wolf in sheep’s clothing.  I caught him in the act, doing what he does best: undermining the cohesiveness of the workforce.  He’s that well-known office stool pigeon.  Smell a rat?  It must be the Office Snitch!

What’s up, guys?

It starts innocently enough.  A new face joins your watercooler conversations about football, or horse racing.  He never adds much to the chat, but he takes it all in.  He does ask some probing questions, though, and not about sports.  He’ll ask if you feel overloaded, or if you don’t have enough to do.  Or what you really think of the director.  Your guard is down, because there’s a certain given sanctity to office bullshitting.  So you offer an opinion.

Err, but I mean that in a good way…

And as the words are coming out of your mouth, you realize in that instant that you’ve made a mistake.  Because you know Mr. Pipeline is going to repeat what you said, verbatim, to the director.  Because the Office Snitch is an asskisser bar none.  Shamelessly so.  And he’ll use whatever intel that he picks up to further his standing with the higher-ups.

By the book

There’s the letter of the law, and the spirit of the law.  Sure, maybe you’re checking out the latest trade rumors on ESPN.com, but your work is finished, and everyone’s happy.  Ten minutes of internet browsing isn’t going to hurt anybody.  But the Office Snitch doesn’t see it that way.  He’s a letter of the law guy, through and through.  He never takes his foot off the accelerator, and expects the same of everyone.  As you can probably guess, he’s a real joy to work for.

A bag of tricks

His latest trick is to circle around the office, and secretly check up on what people are doing.  I’m sure the director loves having a toady who’s as loyal as the Office Snitch.  But what the director doesn’t understand is that the Snitch is a divisive force.  He’s killing morale with his weasely ways.  People are growing distrustful of each other.  It’s the Orwellian world of 1984 in microcosm.

Disciples

What’s even worse, is that he’s franchising.  He’s holding a recruiting drive.  So now, we not only have the Snitch to worry about, but we have to be on the lookout for his minions.  Where does it end?  Is there no hope?

“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”

Well, the best way to combat this cloak-and-dagger espionage is to confront it.  Once a secret is exposed, it’s not a secret anymore.  One of my coworkers asked the Snitch while he made his loop of the office, “What the #&@$ are you doing?  There’s nothing to see here.”  Or words to that effect.  The patrols stopped abruptly.  I guess it’s not as much fun being a tattletale when everyone knows what you’re up to.  I’ll have to see if this tactic worked.

Anyone else had to deal with a snitch in the office?

• Roasted to Death Photo by lightmatter A recent Yahoo! News article brought to light the hardships of California's farm workers.  You can read the original article here.  A lawsuit is underway due to the deaths by heatstroke of five farm workers.  The core body temperature of one guy was 108 degrees!  So......
• Helping Your Coworkers Selflessly I'm pretty proficient with computers, and frequently asked by my coworkers for help with computer problems. These range from troubleshooting Excel formulas to finding certain queries on our Oracle database. Usually these are at crisis moments for my coworkers, and they need my help immediately. Even if I'm busy at......
• Corporate Barbarian Links: Another Day Closer to Death Edition Photo by h.koppdelaney I received some sad news this past week - one of my former coworkers died suddenly on his long commute home from work.  Thank God he pulled over to the side of the road, or he probably would have taken some other poor slobs with him......

• Do One Thing: Check Local Recycling Laws. This week's Do One Thing is all about recycling. Each state and city has their own recycling laws, so it is very important that you find out what can and cannot be recycled where you live. Check to see if your recycling can be mixed together, what kinds of plastic......
• 3 Hour Diet Review Jorge Cruise made his name with his "8 minutes" line of workout videos. As a well known fitness trainer, he has taken advantage of the short workout routine popularity surge. The three hour diet is logically the extension to his regular fitness routines, bringing a diet regime that suits the......
• The Readers Speak - Your Money Mistake Monday. So, last week I asked you guys to let me know what you thought were your biggest money mistakes - and many of you took up the challenge and shared them with me. What did you have to say and what can we learn from you? Clare said "Looking back,......