Posts Tagged Layoff
Take this Job and Shove It!
In this recent Wall Street Journal article, Joe Light reveals that for the first time since October 2008, employees voluntarily quitting surpassed the number being fired or discharged. Apparently, even more plan to leave their positions as the job market improves. Employment experts predict that the churn in jobs could be very costly to companies.
And folks, that just breaks my heart. These poor companies, who wrung out as much cash as they could in order to pay bonuses to their top executives, are going to have to pay more to keep their employees. We just went through a layoff at my company, as I’ve mentioned ad nauseum. Those left with jobs after the dust settled inherited the extra workload from their recently departed colleagues. If I sound a little bitter, it’s just because I am.
If, according to the article, it costs about half of a potential employee’s salary to recruit them for the job, why not pay a little extra to those employees already on the payroll? It’s a win-win for everybody. Then the HR department can go back to doing what they do best: getting us free Yankee tickets.
So, companies better get ready for the next great exodus:
For some employees, it might be too late. Dice.com, a job board for tech professionals, asked members what could persuade them to stay in their jobs if they found another opportunity. More than 57% of the 1,273 surveyed said nothing could persuade them to stay. Of those who said they could be persuaded, 42% said they wanted a higher salary and 11% wanted a promotion.
Loyalty goes both ways. The pissed off will vote with their feet. Just make sure that if you plan to leave, you get everything up front from your new company. Once you’re in the door, all bets are off.
Happy ship-jumping. I don’t blame you.
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Eat Your Dog!
Before Conspiracy Guy got laid off last month, his family “rescued” a greyhound that apparently couldn’t run as fast as it used to. A noble gesture, to be sure, but not a smart idea if you have an inkling that you’re about to be shitcanned from your job. Why add another mouth to feed, even if greyhounds do run on the skinny side?
If you were to look in my house (don’t get any ideas), you wouldn’t find any pets. Nor would you find any houseplants. The only living things in the house, besides my family, are the occasional spider in the basement. I don’t mind the spiders; they feed themselves, and they don’t need to be taken for a walk. The only pet that crossed the threshhold was a short-lived goldfish who now resides in a grave in the backyard. It’s not that I don’t like animals, either; it’s just that I know who would wind up picking up the dogshit in the yard: Yours Truly.
I know this, because my old man was an animal lover. He grew up on a farm in Germany, where he was always surrounded by animals of all shapes and sizes. As soon as he moved from Brooklyn to the “country”, he started accumulating his menagerie. During my childhood, we had two dogs, five cats, a rabbit, three bantam chickens, several turtles, frogs, a chameleon, and a partridge in a pear tree. Just kidding about the last one. But guess who had to clean up after this motley assortment of beasts?
My dogs were mutts, and ate anything that you put in front of them. They never went to the vet, had any shots, or took any heartworm medicine, and they were still fierce enough to scare the hell out of the mailman. I don’t know what kind of pampering a high-maintenance breed like a greyhound requires. They just look diva-esque, probably prefering squab or shaved roast beef. My mutts would have made do on the stray mailman:
Now that he’s unemployed, Conspiracy Guy will have plenty of time to pamper his pooch. As he searches for a new way to put food on his family’s table, I hope he isn’t eyeing Fido like those two castaways in that Bugs Bunny cartoon. You know, the hotdog and hamburger guys. If he has an open mind (and is desperate enough), he could look at his canine friend as a food source, like many cultures do. Gives the words “dog food” an eerie new context, doesn’t it?
I just pray that he doesn’t invite me over for dinner.
Just to show that I’m not a total ghoul, here’s a link to a greyhound rescue site: Adopt A Greyhound
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The Ghost of Layoffs Past
Photo by peasap
The recent layoffs at my company brought a visit from the Ghost of Layoffs Past. Years ago, at one of my old employers, I crossed paths with a former colleague. He was a manager in the manufacturing area, in his forties, with a couple of kids in college. When we passed each other in the hall, his words stopped me cold.
“I just got my two weeks notice.”
“You’re getting laid off?!” Because he had over 25 years service time, the company gave him the heads-up. Everybody with less time under their belts got ten minutes to clean out their desks.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do.” I knew just what he meant. He started with the company right out of high school. He was bright, and a quick study, which allowed him to move up in the manufacturing organization. He became the go-to guy when you needed something done correctly. I know that I tapped his expertise more than once. A born leader, he could have gone to college on the company’s dime, but marriage, children, and overtime took precedence. Which was why he was now in deep shit.
He was making a good salary as a manager. He was bright, and a hard worker. But his prospects were bleak. It’s hard to get a management job without a college degree, no matter how qualified you might be. I didn’t know what to say to comfort him, and told him to stay positive, that people of his caliber were always in demand. But he already knew the deal. He was screwed.
So today’s lesson, grasshopper, is to take whatever the company offers, be it training or tuition reimbursement. Get that piece of paper. It might not mean anything to anyone except the resumé screener. That’s who wields the power when you’re looking for a job. Don’t put yourself in a position to be excluded because you signed up to coach Little League. Get your degree!
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Layoff Aftermath
Photo by law_keven
A lion’s work hours are only when he’s hungry; once he’s satisfied, the predator and prey live peacefully together. - Chuck Jones
I heard that quote on Criminal Minds a few weeks ago. As I sit here in the aftermath of yet another layoff, a metaphor sprang to mind. Or a simile. Whatever. A post was born.
When it was announced last month that my company would be laying off several dozen employees, it caused a pall to hang over my department. There was the usual gallows humor from the Comedian (who didn’t get the axe, Thank God) about unemployment benefits and working at Burger King, but the mood in the office was, for the most part, pretty grim.
I even noticed a separation on an emotional level between management and the rank and file. You started hearing, “I wonder how those bastards are choosing who stays and who goes.” Or, “Wait till it’s their turn to get marched out the door.” It was an us-against-them mentality, and it built to a crescendo by the end of last week. Because, the lion was hungry, and had a job to do.
After yesterday’s bloodletting, like gazelles after the lion has eaten one of their own, the pressure was off. Remember, the lion is only the enemy when he’s hungry. The survivors had to sort things out, so back to work we went. And to joking around. I think some of it was in poor taste, and I tried to keep it quiet. Don’t get me wrong - I’m glad I survived this round. But I’ll miss many of my newly-former coworkers, but some will improve the place with their absence.
Lateness Man was an early victim. He can keep others in suspense at his new job, wherever that will be. Also hitting the road is Conspiracy Guy. I’ll actually miss him, though. He was quite colorful. One person I won’t miss is Mr. Gripes. I’ve never written about him before, but he was probably the most miserable person that I’ve ever had to work with. If you look up negativity in the dictionary, you’ll probably find his picture in there.
What these guys all had in common was a tendency to badmouth the company and its management. They obviously didn’t know how to avoid getting laid off. Some of the phrases that they uttered:
“This place is going down the tubes.”
“They don’t have a freakin’ clue about how to run this place.”
“I have X amount of contracts to manage. He only has Y amount.”
“Wah! Wah! Wah!”
“Beware of the Office Snitch.” (wait, that was me who said that one)
You get the picture. Complain enough, loudly enough, and maybe you get to the top of the layoff list. Congratulations! Don’t let the door hit you on the ass on the way out!
Now, time to join the other gazelles at the waterhole. It’s safe. The lions have already eaten.
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The Ghost of Layoffs Past Photo by peasap The recent layoffs at my company brought a visit from the Ghost of Layoffs Past. Years ago, at one of my old employers, I crossed paths with a former colleague. He was a manager in the manufacturing area, in his forties, with a couple of kids in...... -
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- How To Get Canned Jeanne Sahadi has a good article on CNN Money. Titled "Secrets Your Company Doesn't Want You To Know", its discloses some of the misconceptions surrounding how your actions at work affect you. Here's a snippet.The typical rationale for layoffs is the need to reorganize and cut costs.Pish-posh.Sometimes those reasons are......
5 Financial “Widow Makers”
Posted by enrique s in Career, Insurance, Money, Retirement, lifehack, passive income on July 29th, 2009
I was driving to the store with my son the other day, when I narrowly missed a large tree branch that was lying in the street. “I hope nobody was under that widow maker when it fell”, I said. My son asked “why do they call it a widow maker?” I explained that when you go camping, you shouldn’t make camp under a large, dead branch, the reason being that if it breaks off, you’re squished, leaving your wife a widow. Hence, the name. A widow maker is an accident waiting to happen, because someone neglected to perform the proper maintenance.
This got me thinking about all of the catastrophic events that may befall us financially. While they may not kill us, they can put a real hurt on our financial futures. Let’s take a look at some of these potential devastators, and the things we can do to lessen their occurrence:
Job loss - this is a killer if, like most people, you rely on your job for your primary income. If you’re working in an industry that’s ripe for layoffs, like the defense industry, this might be a good time to be proactive. Read this post about how not to get laid off. If you’re lacking in job skills, take a few classes to get you up to speed. Try turning that hobby into a second income. Start a blog, or set up some websites with affiliate links. As a last resort, pass on that vacation. You can use the payout if and when you do get laid off. These steps could add some income to help stretch your unemployment benefits until you find another job.
Illness - this one is hard to predict. Even if you take reasonably good care of yourself, you could still be afflicted with a disease like cancer, or be involved in a car accident that prevents you from working. In this case, the best defense is a good offense. I’m talking about long-term disability insurance. Many of you may balk at the cost. My answer to that is, if you had a machine that printed money, would you insure it against damage? YOU are that money making machine. Make sure that those dollars keep coming in, even if you can’t work for an extended period. I have coverage available through my job.
Divorce - we’re supposed to marry for better or for worse, yadda yadda yadda, but sometimes things just don’t work out. In matters of love, fools rush in where angels fear to tread. I know that Mel Gibson’s no angel, and his wife will get half of what he owns. We’re all on a smaller scale, but losing half of your net worth would be devastating. Choose your mate wisely. Think compatibility, and find someone who shares your financial values. Maybe a prenup isn’t out of the question either. It may save you some aggravation in the long run.
Stock Market Crash - have you looked at your 401(k) balance lately? Me neither. I lack the courage. Seriously, many of us never saw this coming, and our retirements have been moved to the right in many cases. If you’re young enough, you still have time to recover. But be smart. Don’t fall into the trap of many 50-somethings, who had most of their portfolio in stocks. Do some reading, and diversify your investments as you get older. The thing that will disappear as you get older is time. Take advantage of it now. Don’t rely solely on mutual funds and stocks.
Housing Bubble - I hope you’re not one of those people who are underwater on your mortgage. The subprime mess hurt those with good credit as well, as home values plummeted. If you can’t reasonably afford to make all of the payments associated with a house, wait until you can. There’s nothing wrong with renting. In fact, if you plan on moving in a few years, it makes more sense than tying up all of your capital in a house. Walking away from a mortgage will trash your credit rating.
Did I leave any out? Let me know in the comments.
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Corporate Barbarian Links: Corporate Re-Org Edition
My company is going through yet another reorganization in order to “rightsize” and position itself better in the marketplace. Can layoffs be far behind? Well, I don’t worry about layoffs, as I ‘ve alluded to in the past. On a cheerier note, here are some good posts that I’ve read this week:
Jared at Technotheory shows us how he empties his inbox fast by learning from Google. I think my foolproof file-naming system would work well with his approach.
Jonathan at Awake at the Wheel discusses the benefits of big hairy audacious goalsetting. I’m more inclined to use the “baby steps” method, which allows me to break down large goals into small increments.
Jim at Bargaineering asks: What is your dream job? Mine was always centerfield for the Yankees, but I just don’t have the wheels for it anymore. 
Steve at Brip Blap believes that there is no cost to good health. I agree. Most people would rather take a pill after the fact than take care of themselves with a good diet and exercise.
In a guest post at Five Cent Nickel, Kevin offers some suggestions for when your job is in jeopardy. Actually, these are good suggestions for even when your job is not in jeopardy.
Free Money Finance asks: Do you dread Mondays? I’m usually pretty productive on Mondays, as I tackle my To-Do list (At least nobody can say I’m having a case of the Mondays).
Jacob at Early Retirement Extreme tells us to spend a little more for classics. Well-made items last longer, and are cheaper in the long run than disposable junk.
Brett at The Art of Manliness gives us some motivational posters featuring George S. Patton. I love how George C. Scott portrayed Old Blood & Guts in the movie.
Peter at Bible Money Matters wonders if schools should be required to teach personal finance classes. I think it’s a great idea, just ask my son!
No Credit Needed talks about micro-goals and staying motivated. I follow this thinking, and think even small progress is a positive thing.
Patrick at Cash Money Life and his wife received a special delivery from the stork. Congratulations!
Happy reading!
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The Angry Young Man
There’s a place in the world for the angry young man
With his working class ties and his radical plans
He refuses to bend, he refuses to crawl,
He’s always at home with his back to the wall.
I like Billy Joel. We come from the same neck of the woods, so I can identify with most of his songs (mostly the older ones). In fact, I used to be the angry young man. Back when I was in my twenties, I was always itching for a confrontation at work. If I felt that I was in the right, I wasn’t about to concede that maybe someone else had a good idea as well. I welcomed any debate just to show people how intelligent I was. I made plenty of enemies, but I didn’t care. I never worried about being stabbed in the back; I figured my proficiency in my profession would be enough to protect me.
Give a moment or two to the angry young man,
With his foot in his mouth and his heart in his hand.
He’s been stabbed in the back, he’s been misunderstood,
It’s a comfort to know his intentions are good.
After working for a while in a large corporation, and seeing equally snide young whippersnappers following in my footsteps, I began to realize that I didn’t have to always have my guard up. I could open my mind, and meet people halfway. Part of this came out of necessity, as I matured, got married, became a parent, and increasingly feared the layoffs that were hitting the defense industry. In other words, I became less of a pain in the ass.
I believe I’ve passed the age of consciousness and righteous rage
I found that just surviving was a noble fight.
I once believed in causes too,
I had my pointless point of view,
And life went on no matter who was wrong or right.
But another thing was starting to happen. I began to play it safe. My opinion could be easily manipulated just to go with the flow. I was selling out. I wasn’t playing to win anymore, just playing not to lose. I was going soft. But inspiration appeared in the form of my teenage son.
And there’s always a place for the angry young man,
With his fist in the air and his head in the sand.
Just spend one day as the parent of a teenager, and you’ll rekindle that old anger. He can be stubborn, argumentative, and a real pain in the ass. In other words, a chip off the old block. I haven’t lost my passion at all; it’s just been passed to the next generation!
So, I thank my teenager for helping me rediscover the fire in my belly. While I don’t pick fights just for the sake of an argument, I don’t fold as easily, either. So, here’s fair warning to whoever gets in my way today:
The Angry Middle-Aged Man is back!
Follow the Angry Barbarian on Twitter: CorpBarbarian
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Closest to the Divine Even the "saints" felt spiritual darkness. The term “dark night of the soul“ was used to describe the doubts experienced by a man now seen as an exemplar of his faith. It’s been expressed in a lot of art also, but people don’t seem to think about it. The poem “Footprints in......
Unpaid Overtime: Not Just for Brown Nosers Anymore
I worked with a guy many years ago who lived for overtime. Actually, I think he relied on it to live. Even though he had a college degree, and worked in the finance department, he would work overtime in the kitting department (the stockroom for you non-defense contractor types) to pick up a couple of bucks. He must be mortified by the latest recession trend: unpaid overtime!
In an article on Yahoo Finance, more employees are showing up early for work, putting off vacations, and taking on extra projects to please their bosses. Add to that, unpaid overtime. As workforces are cut, the remaining workers are forced to pick up the slack. I didn’t need to read the article, as I’ve seen it in my own office. It’s a sign of the times, and a necessary survival strategy.
It’s hard to say just how widespread the phenomenon is. But Labor Department figures show workers have sharply boosted their productivity over the past year as layoffs mounted. Workers’ output-per-hour jumped 2.7 percent during 2008 — nearly double the increase during 2007 and triple the increase in 2006.
In the past, many workers were chastised as ass-kissers if they went above and beyond. Their fellow employees thought that they were trying to make them look bad by volunteering for unpaid work. I know, I’ve been on both sides of the argument. I’ve seen blatant attempts by self-promoters to try to look good in the eyes of the boss. I’ve also seen people go above and beyond without any motivation other than helping their fellow workers, either by staying late to train people, or helping someone finish a tough assignment before a deadline.
Not all that extra productivity has been voluntary. Some workers are simply forced to do more as co-workers leave, notes Steve Davis, an economist with the American Enterprise Institute.
But this type of unpaid overtime is a new animal. It’s almost expected that you should put in a few hours for the company without pay. I could see if it were necessary to ensure the survival of a company, but my company had a great year last year, and yet, it’s still expected. You would have to do something extraordinary in order to get paid for OT. There was much griping about this last year, but after a recent small layoff, everyone has kept their mouth shut. I guess having a job with no paid overtime is preferable to having no job at all.
Often, the efforts amount to common sense. People dress better and show up early. They say nice — OK, flattering — things to the boss. And they try to look busy. “I’ve started to see a sea change,” Tulgan said. “A growing number of people are saying: ‘I’ve got to roll my sleeves up and do something now.’ They’re finding ways they can identify problems before they happen.”
This eleventh-hour attitude is something I’ve talked about in a prior post. I find it to be an exercise in futility. Your boss already knows what kind of worker that you are. The time to kick it into high gear was last year, when things were good. If you’ve been sucking wind all along, and just now decided that it’s time to save your ass, you’re too late. Your boss is going to save someone who he’s counted on in the past.
And it’s hardly guaranteed that anyone’s sudden boost in productivity — or attitude — can avert a layoff. Bosses tend to see through behavior that amounts to, well, sucking up, said Gary Walstrom, founder of Culture Index Inc. consulting firm in Kansas City, Mo. Walstrom helps companies decide whom to let go. He urges them to focus on hard data — shedding the salesmen who generate the lowest revenue or the customer service staffer with the most unresolved complaints. Someone who starts showing up early once the economy sours isn’t necessarily worth keeping.
So, if you fit into the wind-sucking category, that vacation time that you saved may come in handy - after you get laid off. Think of it as part of your severance package.
Have you been forced to work unpaid overtime? If so, how many hours?
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America’s Layoff Hot Spots
Plant Layoffs by James True
Yahoo Real Estate recently listed the top five layoff cities in America. Here they are, with layoff statistics for the first quarter of 2009:
Detroit - 14,781
Chicago - 13,647
Los Angeles - 10,594
New York - 8,688
Las Vegas - 8,367
That’s a lot of lost jobs in just three months. Any surprises on that list? Detroit is a victim of the collapsing automobile market. The unemployment rate is a nation-high 14%. The financial bailout has hit Wall Street hard. California has its own financial crisis. And with no money to gamble with, people aren’t flocking to Vegas.
Mass layoffs are even more devastating. They overwhelm the resources that are set up to help them, and put the hurt on the local economy. I’m sure that there’s a ripple effect to the surrounding suburbs. It’s no wonder the housing markets have tanked in these areas.
Has your area been hit with mass layoffs?
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How To Avoid Getting Laid Off
We were stuck in a conference room with no windows. The subject of the meeting escapes my memory, but I do remember that there was a heated discussion, with a lot of profanity thrown back and forth. I was stuck next to a loudmouth, and in close proximity to his coffee-breath ramblings. After about an hour or so, we all called a truce and planned our next get-together. As we compared calendars, the usual side chit-chat began.
“We’re slow. I hope we get some new contracts in here soon.”
“I heard a rumor about a RIF.” (A RIF is a Reduction In Force in defense contractor lingo. The rest of the world calls it a layoff)
“It’s inevitable. I see a lot of guys standing around with their hands in their pockets. If you have work to do, you’re not hanging around shooting the bull.”
“If they RIF anyone, it should be those marketeers. They haven’t brought in a new job in years.”
“I didn’t see any of the afternoon regulars hanging around the cafeteria today. I guess they got the message.”
And on it went. Blame for our situation was assigned and reassigned. The official memo called it “right-sizing”, but it still meant that some of my friends would no longer work there. I remember stopping one of my work buddies in the main hallway. He looked nervous, and told me “It doesn’t look good standing here and talking. I don’t want to give my boss an excuse.” He dashed off. I felt bad for him.
I felt bad because I wanted to tell him he was already too late; that he should enjoy the time spent talking in the hall, because soon you’ll be out looking for another job; that it doesn’t matter now that you’re the first one in and the last to leave; that saying “good morning” to your boss in a chipper, ass-kissy way won’t matter; that not hanging around the cafeteria is futile.
It’s futile because the decision has already been made, not moments ago, but weeks or even months ago. Managers know who their best people are. They may be a couple of minutes late to work; maybe they’re not the sharpest dresser, or their shoes are never shined; maybe they take too many cigarette breaks; maybe they spend too much time shooting the bull. But it doesn’t matter.
Managers will save the jobs of their best people because they get the work done. Period. That’s what makes them their best people. They’ve figured out how to get their work done and thrive under the current circumstances. If the circumstances get worse, they’re even more valuable. They’ve shown their chops, usually under pressure. A manager isn’t going to forget that. If you don’t have the chops, or should I say, you’ve never shown them when they were needed, you haven’t got a prayer at layoff time.
Want to save your job? Put in the time to become the best at what you do. If you don’t have the skills, learn them. Ask questions. Become indispensable. That’s what’s going to save your ass at layoff time. Any last-minute cleaning-up-your-act stuff is just a Hail Mary as the clock runs down to 0:00. Too little, too late. Your fate is sealed. We’ll miss you. Good luck in your job search.
You might as well hang around the cafeteria and shoot the bull.
Sign up for free email updates. I can’t guarantee that it will save your job, but then again, it couldn’t hurt!
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