Posts Tagged Cigars
I Hate the Olympics
I know. BLASPHEMY! UNPATRIOTIC! I love most sports, at least the ones that fit George Carlin’s definition of a sport. I’m a die-hard Yankees fan. I love the football Giants. I never missed a Knicks game when Patrick Ewing was in the pivot. I was ecstatic to hear the “1940″ chant go into mothballs when the Blue Shirts won the Stanley Cup back in 1994. But I couldn’t care less about the Olympics.
Uh, I thought we were going to watch sports…
Curling. The luge. Ice dancing? Are you f-ing kidding me? About the only event that I’ll watch is hockey, which according to Carlin, isn’t a sport because it’s played with a puck. I saw the Miracle on Ice back in 1980, but I missed the Canadian women’s celebration after their gold medal win, and I’m sorry that I did. Looks like they did it up right, smoking cigars and pounding brewskis. Hey, those are two of my favorite food groups! All that was missing were the chicken wings and it could have been my last Super Bowl party. But apparently this earthy celebration was decidedly un-Olympian, at least according to the IOC. Well, I call bullshit.
A proud sponsor…
If you check this page of Winter Olympics sponsors and suppliers, you’ll notice that Molson and Coors are listed (I couldn’t find Rocky Patel, or even White Owl). So maybe this was just good product placement by the athletes. No stink is ever raised when Tim McCarver is soaked with champagne in the winner’s clubhouse after the World Series. Maybe the Canadian women were just drinking a brand of beer that wasn’t an Olympic sponsor. Or that Canadians are held to a higher standard of public behavior than us knuckle-dragging Yanks. I mean, who but their families were watching this match anyway? There was probably a larger viewing audience at my wisdom tooth extraction. Let the ladies have their moment in the sun.
Branding opportunities
Think of the commercial opportunities for these women. I mean, there’s no professional league at the end of this, so they might as well make hay when the sun shines, so to speak. I can see a spread in Cigar Aficionado, with the ladies puffing on their favorite puros, debating the superiority of Maduro wrappers to the Connecticut kind. Maybe a joint commercial with AMF and Budweiser, where the Canadians can play the Americans in gold-medal beer pong. Think how much weight an endorsement by Marie-Philip Poulin will carry when college students are deciding on their dorm-room equipment. Hockey players generally don’t clean up in endorsements; they better strike while the iron is hot (I’ve now reached my two-clichés-per-paragraph limit).
Hypocrites
It’s funny how it’s OK to drink beer when it’s officially sanctioned by the IOC. Hell, even McDonald’s is a sponsor. The same company that Goose Gossage said was poisoning the world with their hamburgers. You can bet that Michael Phelps isn’t running to Mickie D’s when he has the munchies; it’s always a trip to Subway after a joint. They don’t get on his case.
As far as the controversy, I couldn’t care less about that, either. Pitchers and catchers have already reported to Spring Training, and I’ll be able to watch a real sport pretty soon.
With a Sam Adams in one hand and a Gurkha Ancient Warrior in the other.
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Your Weight is Costing You Money
U.S. News & World Report shows us that our bodies are costing us more than ever. This equates to a “Unhealthiness Tax”, based on our poor eating and exercise habits. I know taxes have increased on my Rocky Patels, and organic food isn’t exactly cheap. It’s enough to make me reach for another donut. ;-) But I came up with some cheaper alternatives. Here are the areas of concern, followed by my two cents:
That gym habit could cost you thousands - gym memberships and personal training sessions are pricey.
Solution: Work out at home. It costs nothing to go for a walk, provided you have sneakers. Pick up some used weights at a yard sale. Used weights still weigh the same as new weights, maybe a little more when you consider the accumulated dust. If you don’t think that you can lift heavy weights, and think you have the patience, try the SuperSlow method.
Diet advice is a regular drain on your wallet - fitness magazines, diet books, and infomercials cost money, as does Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig.
Solution: The internet is full of free websites that offer diet and fitness tips, aimed at novices on one end of the spectrum, to more hardcore sites like Testosterone Nation on the other end. Rather than paying a diet counselor, do your own research for free. It’s how I found out about the Metabolic Diet.
Health insurance isn’t a cure-all - co-payments for medical care, deductibles, and premiums are the additional costs of insurance.
Solution: Staying in shape and watching your diet should do wonders for your health, and help avoid diseases and conditions associated with obesity. Don’t overlook the benefits of vitamins to strengthen the immune system.
Some airlines charge weightier passengers more - some airlines, such as United and Southwest, require that you pay for two seats if you can’t fit into one.
Solution: This should be a wake up call that you need to improve your fitness and diet. Follow my solutions in the first two items.
Vices are another way you’ll pay - taxes on cigarettes and cigars and alcoholic beverages have increased. This is a ripe target for governments looking for extra revenue.
Solution: Quit smoking, or if you’re not addicted, reduce the number of cigars that you smoke. I’m down to one cigar per weekend. The sacrifices I make…
The good news is that companies have figured out that preventing disease is cheaper than treating disease. Incentives are being offered to get healthier, from cash payments to lower health insurance premiums. I know that my company has a fitness center on premises that you can join for a small amount each week.
Me, I work out in my basement. No health club dues, no waiting for a machine or treadmill, and all I have to do is walk downstairs. My weights are an eclectic mix of concrete-filled plastic weights from my youth, newly-purchased steel plates, and some used weights picked up at Play it Again Sports. I did invest in a good bench about 15 years ago, and it’s served me well.
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