I’d like to talk about a character that everyone claims they want to hear more from: The Truth.  Not a day goes by without someone demanding, “I want the Truth!”  In the Gospel of John, we’re reminded that, “The truth shall set you free.”  Superman fought for truth , justice, and the American Way.  Perhaps Jack Nicholson was closer to the mark when he exclaimed, “You can’t handle the truth!”  Let’s take a closer look at this misunderstood guy, the Truth, and why he doesn’t get invited to many parties.

I can remember my mother always reminding me that I should always tell the truth.  This reminder usually came after some mysterious accident where something was broken, the unknown culprit still at large.  In this case, the truth was being used as a vehicle for assigning blame to the offending party.  But in my neighborhood, we kids stuck together.  Being a rat was frowned upon.  Another blow against the Truth.

They say the truth hurts.  Which is why his more politically-correct brother, Half-Truth, is usually a more welcome guest.  I suspect that when someone asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”, they would rather have Half-Truth answer the question.  He would break it to them gently, whereas the Truth would respond, “No, it’s your big ass that makes you look fat.”  See, the Truth has no filter; he calls ‘em the way he see’s ‘em.  If you didn’t like his answer, you shouldn’t have asked the question.

Which is why he’s not invited to the party.  Everyone will say that they wish he was around, but secretly, they know he would start too many fights.  He’s like that crazy uncle who gets drunk at the wedding reception, gooses the waitresses, and drops his pants.  What I’m getting at is that the Truth may not be appropriate in all situations.  He would cut through the bullshit that holds our world together, and that would be awkward.

Bullshit, as George Carlin once said, is the glue that holds our society together.  Without, we’d all be our own little North Koreas, on guard against the rest of the world.  Everyone wants Bullshit at their party; he’s a great guy.  He allows people to coexist who would otherwise kill each other.  Bullshit gets invited to the party even before alcohol.  Because, while you can make it through a family gathering without alcohol (just barely), you can’t make it through without Bullshit.  There would be a mass of wills being changed; just think of the staggering legal fees!

So while we all have an idealized concept of what the Truth should be (say a Wonder Woman-era Lynda Carter with her golden lasso), the real, honest Truth is a might bit uglier (maybe one of Dick Cheney’s waterboarding guys).

Think about that the next time you ask for the truth.

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