As I mentioned in last week’s post entitled Humpday Sarcasm: Ten Things That I Wished I’d Said First, I received Robert Byrne’s book, The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said, for my birthday.  I shared ten selections with you last week, and figured I’d keep up the tradition until someone says “Uncle”.  So, here’s this week’s top ten quotes from the book:

Washington Irving.  (Answer to the question “Who was the first president, Max?”) - Steve Allen’s Question Man

A tragedy is a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

Your request for no MSG was ignored. - Fortune cookie opened by Merla Zellerbach

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink, because when they get up in the morning, they’re not going to feel any better all day. - Frank Sinatra

When they asked George Washington for his ID, he just took out a quarter. - Steven Wright

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron.  Not even God can hit a 1-iron. - Lee Trevino

It took me an hour to bury the cat, because it wouldn’t stop moving. - From The Monty Python Show

On New Year’s Eve, people in New Jersey stay up till midnight and watch their hopes drop. - Richard Lewis

Flying is hours and hours of boredom sprinkled with a few seconds of sheer terror. - Gregory “Pappy” Boyington

and my favorite of the bunch:

We had a quicksand box in our back yard.  I was an only child, eventually. - Steven Wright

Just a little snarkiness for a Wednesday.  Now get back to work!

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