I went to the podiatrist the other day after work.  I’ve been dealing with a pain in my right heel for a couple of months, and decided to get it checked out (it’s been interfering with my run-3-miles goal).  After dealing with a pain in the ass who is probably the worst receptionist in the world (more on that later), he diagnosed my problem as Plantar Fasciitis.

Plantar Fasciitis, as he explained to me, is a fancy way of saying that I’d pulled the ligament that runs along the bottom of my foot.  That’s what’s been causing the pain.  He gave me two choices of treatment: One, take some Advil (which I had already tried, but didn’t help), or Two, a cortisone shot in the heel.  I opted for the needle, and my foot feels better already.  But the best part was yet to come.

I dutifully went before the receptionist to settle up.  I made an appointment for a follow-up, and attempted to pay my bill.  When I gave her my FSA (flexible spending account) card, she reacted as if I had handed her a lump of shit.  “We don’t take that here.  Cash or check only.”  I then asked her for a pen to make out a check.

“Well?”  she asked.

“Well, what?” I answered, starting to get pissed off.

“Cash or check?”

“Why would I ask for a pen if I was paying cash?”

“Can I have the check number?”

“You can have the check in two seconds after I sign it!”

“I just need to enter the number in the computer!”

She was getting even more testy, which I was enjoying.

“I’ll need a receipt to submit to my insurance.”

“You’ll just have to wait a minute!” she snarled.

“Can I have the receipt number?” I thought that would put her over the edge.

I grabbed my coat, as she announced, loudly, to a packed waiting room, “See you in a month for your foot fungus!”

“You mean Plantar Fasciitis.  Happy Easter.”

“Whatever.”

I don’t think I’ll be getting a Christmas card from her anytime soon.

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