This is the fourth installment in the Humpday Sarcasm series.  You can read the first three parts by clicking on the links:

Humpday Sarcasm: Ten Things That I Wish I’d Said First

Son of Humpday Sarcasm

Humpday Sarcasm III

I thought that I’d do something different this week, and devote the entire list of sarcasms to George Carlin.  Here are a few from the master:

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they’re cramming for their final exam.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.

Just a few tidbits for a Wednesday in January.  Enjoy!

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