Here’s the third installment of my Humpday Sarcasm series.  You can read the first two by following these links:

Humpday Sarcasm: Ten Things that I Wish I’d Said First

Son of Humpday Sarcasm

The following quotes were taken from Robert Byrne’s book, The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said:

I’m thirty years old, but I read at the thirty-four-year-old level. - Dana Carvey

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer? - Steven Wright

The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot.  The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius. - Sid Caesar

Death is nature’s way of saying, “You’re table is ready.” - Robin Williams

My karma ran over your dogma. - Unknown

They want me on all the television shows now because I did so well on “Celebrity Assholes.” - Steve Martin

Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana. - Lisa Grossman

I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out. - Steven Wright

Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt. - Herbert Hoover

Some guy hit my fender, and I said to him, “Be fruitful and multiply,” but not in those words. - Woody Allen

Have a great Wednesday!

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