Archive for category Career

The Wisdom of Joe McCarthy

Posted by enrique s in Career, Debt, Leadership on February 20th, 2011

Pitchers and catchers. Ah, words to warm my winter-chilled heart. Spring Training has begun, and my mind wistfully recalls the smell of the earth thawing in my backyard. Can infield practice be far away?

What better time to segué into another baseball-themed post. Today’s victim is Joe McCarthy, the one-time Yankees manager (not that other prick, the senator who hunted commies). McCarthy had much success, and like most successful people, he had a list of “isms”. Many can be applied not only to baseball, but to real life as well:

Nobody ever became a ballplayer by walking after a ball.

Pete Rose was a lousy gambler, but a terrific player, probably because he busted his ass on every play. You’d never see old Charlie Hustle loaf after a fly ball. If you don’t have the passion to do something, maybe you’re in the wrong line of work. Find your bliss. Then give it your all.

You will never become a .300 hitter unless you take the bat off your shoulder.

You may want to be successful, but you have to put yourself in a position to be successful. That means preparation and execution. Do you have the training to be the best in your field? Good. But reading books is just part of the equation. You need to hone your craft by practicing it.

An outfielder who throws in back of a runner is locking the barn after the horse is stolen.

I hate to mention that overused word, but even McCarthy back in the day knew that you had to be proactive rather than reactive. Get your head out of your ass, and anticipate what’s coming.

Keep your head up and you may not have to keep it down.

To me, this talks about being a good person. Your character can be ruined in minutes. When you’re at work, leave the booze, drugs, and gossip at home.

When you start to slide, SLIDE. He who changes his mind may have to change a good leg for a bad one.

Indecision. People, fearing that they’ll make the wrong choice, make no choice at all. The problem with this line of thinking is that your future is decided for you. I like to be in control of my destiny. It’s part of my shit-or-get-off-the-pot philosophy. Once I decide on a well-thought out strategy, I follow it through to the end.

Do not alibi on bad hops. Anyone can field the good ones.

Everyone makes mistakes. That’s how we grow as people. But learn from your mistakes, so that when the same situation arises, you don’t make the same mistake twice. A bad hop is a challenge. Rise to the challenge.

Always run them out. You never can tell.

When the situation looks hopeless, it usually is. Usually doesn’t mean 100% of the time. I don’t believe in fate. If I can find one small glimmer of hope, then I’m going for it.

Do not quit.

Quitting is the act of stopping work, of refusing to move forward. I’m no quitter, which has pissed a lot of people off who expected me to follow the rest of the flock. My cousin, a recovering alcoholic, had a drawing of a frog being eaten by a stork, or crane, or some other fucking long-necked bird. The frog, in the process of being swallowed, starts strangling the bird. The caption reads, “Don’t Quit”. Don’t worry, cuz, I won’t. Ever.

Try not to find too much fault with the umpires. You cannot expect them to be as perfect as you are.

People who blame others for their misfortunes have a victim’s mentality. I’m no victim, so I don’t bitch. Not too much, anyway. Take responsibility. Tough shit. Life is unfair for everybody.

A pitcher who hasn’t control hasn’t anything.

You can have all of the advantages in life, like good looks, wealth, health, and smarts. If you can’t control yourself, whether by spending more than you earn, or drinking in excess, then you’re wasting your gifts. Partying hard is for college. Get your shit together and be an adult.

Ah, smell that dirt…

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Joe McCarthy

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A Letter to Santa

Posted by enrique s in Career, Rants, Retirement on December 16th, 2010

I know - I'm going to Hell.

Photo by jurvetson

Dear Santa,

Enrique here again. Hope you had a nice summer. How is Mrs. Claus? I’ve been extra good this year, and I therefor have a long list of demands-err, I mean requests, for presents.

But let me start off by thanking you for the presents you brought last year. My 401(k) is looking healthier, and I don’t feel like I’m flushing my weekly payroll deduction down the toilet anymore. The Yankees didn’t completely alienate Jeter, and Mariano didn’t fall into the clutches of the evil Red Sox (attempted revenge for the Sparky Lyle trade, no doubt). I’m still employed, unlike many of my former colleagues, and the recent layoffs have made me more appreciative of that fact. OK, enough of the ass-kissing, now on to the good stuff.

I’ve been hearing that GE stock will rise into the mid-20’s. Can you help out with that? It will allow me to retire before I’m 85, and allow me to avoid being a greeter at Walmart, which is a good thing, because, unlike you, I’ll probably be a real surly bastard in my old age.

This job creation thing that Obama keeps talking about, can you run that to ground? My former colleagues, like Patrick, have that blank look in their eyes when the rest of us survivors start bitching about work. It takes all the fun out of it. A job for Patrick, and a multitude of others, would be a nice gift on Christmas morning.

Hey Kringle, I know your sleigh is reindeer-powered, but have you noticed that gas prices are close to 3 and a half bucks a gallon on Long Island? And what perfect timing - Muscles Marinara starts driving in a couple of months. I’ll need a home equity loan to get him through driver’s ed. Here’s hoping for an oil glut.

I know I shouldn’t be greedy, and any Pirates fan would be glad to trade places with me, but how about some starting pitching for the Yankees? And please, no Carl Pavano. I’d rather have four more years of Jimmy Carter. There’s a lefty in Texas that needs a gentle push towards the Bronx. Tell Andy he’s too young to retire.

The rest of my requests are small, like maybe a healthy offensive line for the Giants, and a sore shoulder for Cliff Lee. Sorry, the bitterness just crept out. And I thought he was a lock to join his buddy C.C. in the rotation. It was LeBron James all over again.

So, thanks again, Santa, for the gifts you brought this past year, and please do your best with this year’s requests. Especially the starting pitching.

I’ll leave some extra cookies out if you come through.

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Derek Jeter, or How to Alienate Employees and Fans Alike

Posted by enrique s in Career, Rants on December 3rd, 2010

Baseball All Star Derek Jeter
Photo by Rafael Amado Deras

While he’s recently been treated shabbily by the Yankees, it’s hard to feel too bad for Derek Jeter. I’m sure he’s still got a few bucks left over from his last gargantuan contract, not to mention his endorsement deals. While he’s gotten the cold sholder from his employer, he can bask in the warm glow of five championships. What Ernie Banks would give for just one of Jeter’s rings. But I can relate to his plight.

The consensus by most people is that Jeter is being unreasonable in his demands. Forty-five million over three years isn’t chump change. Jon Garland just signed for $5 million for one year, and he arguably had a better year than the Yankee captain. While most Yankee-haters have always felt that Jeter was overrated and overpaid, at this time, they may be justified in their thinking.

But what about all the great memories he created? Diving headlong into the stands, catching not only the ball, but a few stitches. The play at the plate against the A’s. His Mr. November moment against the Diamondbacks, which was like salve in the wounds after 9/11. Should he be rewarded for past performance, even though his skills have diminished? Who else would play shortstop next year, Ramiro Peña?

I don’t think he’s being unreasonable. There will be other Yankee shortstops in the coming years, but only one Derek Jeter. There were never any scandals about banging strippers or taking steroids (If anything, maybe he should hit the weights a little more). He was always clutch, and cool under pressure, in the same vein as Joe Montana or Tom Brady. A true Yankee, someone to be counted on, the anti-A-Rod.

Without Jeter, there is no YES Network. Probably no New Yankee Stadium, either. He helped fill those seats, and sell those replica jerseys. Think of the money wasted on pretenders like Randy Johnson, Kevin Brown, Carl Pavano, Jeff Weaver, Jaret Wright, and Chan-Ho Park. They didn’t sell many of their jerseys, I would bet. There will be more money to be made as he chases hit number 3,000. So here’s Mr. Jeter, being portrayed as a greedy bastard in the media, through leaks provided by his own team, no less. This is where I can relate.

Several years ago, at my last job, they hired a new manager in my department. She lacked both the experience and competence that your favorite barbarian displayed, but she was brought on at a higher salary, with a signing bonus, to boot. She must have had a kickass interview. This was after I came in, with pneumonia, in order to get the auditors to sign off on our financial statements. After I came back to work, between the hours of my brother’s wake, to make sure things got done. No problem, I figured that they’d correct this injustice at raise time. I was wrong.

My recourse, since they had no contract to hold me, was to seek employment elsewhere. All of a sudden, several generous offers were made to entice me to stay. I’ve always felt that if you set out to do something, you should follow through to the end, like that kid wrestler in Vision Quest. In other words, if you’re going to talk the talk (threaten to quit), you should walk the walk (actually quit). I told them, “It’s been real, but…”

Fate hasn’t treated many Yankee captains well. Thurman Munson died too young. Graig Nettles was run out of town. Willie Randolph got the bum’s rush in favor of Steve Sax. Even Donnie Baseball was forced into retirement to make room for Tino Martinez. This week, some ingenious creative person imagined Jeter in the other 29 team’s uniforms. Let’s hope he doesn’t walk the walk, whether to another team, or into retirement.

Because they’ll be no parade in the Canyon of Heroes next year if Ramiro Peña is at short on Opening Day.

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Smokers at the Office Unite!

Posted by enrique s in Career on November 24th, 2010

Smoking kills you...
Photo by` TheDreamSky ê¿�ê¾¸ë�� í��ë��

I overheard, (or eavesdropped, if you want to get technical about it), two guys at work having a gripe session about goofing off. The conversation meandered from solitaire players, to phone hogs, and finally, to smokers. Smokers waste so much time each day. Smokey Joe is never around when you need him. They should be the next ones laid off.

Whoa, fellas, take it easy. I think you’re going a little overboard here. Too much generalizing. Not every smoker is a goof off. I work with several who are in high positions in the company. These are people who work their asses off, who put in long days, and get results. If they want to squeeze in a half hour a day for their addiction, so be it. Smoking is part of who they are.

While I do enjoy an occasional cigar, I have never been a cigarette smoker. I can remember my first real job, where smoking was allowed at everyone’s desk, à la Mad Men.

Soon after, the company limited smoking to floor-to-ceiling offices. You can guess what happened: people without offices started congregating in the smokers’ offices. You’d walk in and think you were in a card game in a social club. Finally, smoking was banned inside the building, forcing smokers to loiter around the entrances like a bunch of left-back high school delinquents.

But can’t these intelligent people kick the habit? Well, maybe they don’t want to. They like to smoke. As Malcolm Gladwell theorized, people smoke because they think it’s cool. All of the ads with the guy with the hole in his larynx won’t make a dent in the hardcore’s habit. Maybe they look forward to that nicotine fix the way you look forward to your daily donut, fatass.

So smokers, watch your backs. There are disgruntled colleagues ready to offer you up for sacrifice. Be mindful of the time you spend near the ash tray, because somebody is watching.

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Work Doesn’t Suck As Much

Posted by enrique s in Career, Motivation on November 5th, 2010

We’ve been through a lot of grief this year at work. Walking through the pot-holed parking lot at work this rainy morning, I glimpsed my down-trodden looking coworkers trudging through the puddles on their way to the building. It reminded me of the imagery in the Bruce Springsteen song Factory:

Through the mansions of fear, through the
mansions of pain,
I see my daddy walking through them
factory gates in the rain,
Factory takes his hearing, factory gives him life,
The working, the working, just the
working life.

The working life. There’s nothing like a rainy day to put a damper on your mood. With the days getting shorter, there’s not much daylight to enjoy, and on many winter days, I find myself arriving for work as well as leaving in the darkness.

End of the day factory whistle cries,
Men walk through these gates with death in
their eyes,
And you just better believe boy,
somebody’s gonna get hurt tonight,
It’s the working, the working, just the
working life.

But, Geez guys, it’s not that bad. I mean, we still get a paycheck, plus medical benefits, shitty as they may be. When the mood gets too gloomy, I’ll try to do something that will improve everyone’s mood ( and I don’t mean calling in sick). Today, I stopped at Dunkin’ Donuts and picked up three dozen fat pills for my depressed colleagues.

How bad can a day at the office be when you get to chow down on free donuts?

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Go Easy!

Posted by enrique s in Career, lifehack on October 22nd, 2010

On my way to work the other day, I was cut off by another driver. Being from New York, you’d think my first instinct would be to give him the neighborhood salute, better known as the middle finger:

But I took a deep breath, and thought back to some good advice that a mentor gave me when I was just a young whippersnapper: Go Easy.

Back when I was just starting my illustrious career, I had a job where I had three bosses in three years. Not one of my bosses left the job voluntarily, and the environment was a regular hellhole. This was the place where I picked up my coffee addiction. But I digress. One boss-of-the-year was a guy nicknamed The Scooch, and he taught me a valuable lesson about coping.

I was a young hothead, full of piss and vinegar, and I loved a good challenge. I also loved a good argument, and my big, smartass mouth kept me in plenty of those. I was cocky, and had trouble backing down from altercations, especially with people who I thought were not as intelligent as I thought I was. These confrontations “got my Dutch up”, as my mother used to say, and sometimes were my undoing. That’s where the Scooch set me right.

“Go easy!” The Scooch said that to me over and over. At first I was offended. Who the hell did this retread think he was? He’d probably only last a few months, as this business chewed up and spit out managers at an alarming pace. Keep out of my way, old-timer, and don’t bother unpacking those boxes, either. But the Scooch would soon prove me wrong.

One day, we were in a meeting with a director who looked like Edward G. Robinson in Little Caesar:

This Little Caesar was one of my favorite combatants. He started to bait me, and I was getting ready to fire back, when the Scooch abruptly stood up. “Let’s go”, he said. “We’re not accomplishing anything here.” Caesar was dumbfounded, and just stood there, slack-jawed. The Scooch had disarmed him without uttering a single barbed insult.

As we awaited the shitstorm that was surely coming, Little Caesar called the Scooch and apologized. “See”, he said, “sometimes you accomplish more by doing less. That’s what I mean by going easy. Go easy and you stay in control. Go apeshit and you relinquish control.”

I took heed of the Scooch’s advice when that bast- uh, other motorist, cut me off. Before the Scooch, not only would I have flipped him the bird, but I would have called him names that would have made my mother’s ears bleed. That would have accomplished nothing, which I did a lot of when I used to let my emotions get the best of me. Instead, I kept my composure, and also kept the situation under my control.

So, the next time you feel you’re about to become unglued, take the Scooch’s advice, and go easy. The hothead act grows tired. Being in control of yourself inspires confidence in others. It shows that you’ve got your shit together, no matter what life throws at you.

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Charge of the Light-in-the-Head Brigade

Posted by enrique s in Career, Motivation, Self-Reliance on October 13th, 2010

From The Charge of the Light Brigade by Alfred, Lord Tennyson:
‘Forward, the Light Brigade!’
Was there a man dismay’d ?
Not tho’ the soldier knew
Some one had blunder’d:
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to do & die,
Into the valley of Death
Rode the - (imagine the sound of a needle being dragged across an LP record)

INTO THE VALLEY OF DEATH? Wait a second there, chief. Who’s brilliant idea was this, anyway?

Theirs not to make reply

Someone blunder’d alright. Remember what I wrote about blind allegiance? Well, I had to take my own advice today, lest I let the whole department follow the bad advice of some schmuck.

Theirs not to reason why

Without getting into the gory details, my director was exhorting his people, myself included, to commit to meeting a ridiculous deadline imposed by his boss. “If we have to, we can work over the weekend,” he offered. Weekend, my ass. It’s football season, and the Giants take priority over work. Several of us, the Comedian included, asked him to grow a pair and push back for a change.

Theirs but to do & die

But what was alarming to me was the willingness of the majority of my colleagues, the Light-in-the-Head Brigade, to blindly follow bad direction, much like the poor souls in Tennyson’s poem. Familiar with the term, “sheeple“? Well, we’ve got a whole department full of ‘em. Luckily, a few of us wolves are on the lookout, and my bullshit meter was going off the charts.

Valley of Death My Ass

So, the next time someone gives a stupid order, it’s your duty not to follow blindly, but to call bullshit on them. It’s the responsible thing to do.

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He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Subordinate

Posted by enrique s in Career, Leadership, Productivity on September 29th, 2010

I’ve seen many management styles over the years. I’ve worked for paternalistic nurturers, and autocratic pricks. My favorite style of manager to work for is the kind that empowers me, and then leaves me alone (which doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate their help when I need it). Most of the people that I’ve worked for were roll-up-the-sleeves types, and I guess I’ve followed in their footsteps with my subordinates. I can’t stand watching someone struggle, when a little help from me will lighten their load. But apparently, this philosophy is not widespread in my company.

Can I help you?

Any finance person has experienced the lunacy of quarterly reporting. Whether you call it a budget call, quarterly forecast, or didn’t-we-just-do-this-last-month?, the end of a fiscal quarter has that madcap urgency of working lunches and long nights. I’ve always tried to pick up the slack, and have encouraged those with a lighter load to help their fellow overwhelmed cohorts. It’s a terrible feeling when a deadline approaches, you’re the only one left in the office, and you haven’t a clue about how to reach the end.

Thanks for nothing!

Apparently my fellow managers have never experienced this kind of anxiety. Either that, or they don’t give a shit about their people. I’ve seen one guy leave early to go watch his kid’s volleyball game. I could see if this was a playoff game, but it was the second time that week that he bailed early, while his people stayed late into the night. Another took the week off, citing a long-ago-booked vacation. With the on-time completion of this budget call in jeopardy, you would think that they would have lent a helping hand. I’m glad their people didn’t hold their collective breaths.

One for all

One of the parts of my company’s mission statement talks about teamwork. I think the absence of these managers when the going gets tough speaks volumes about their lack of team spirit. Everyone has priorities, and my family always comes first. But if the families of my subordinates have to suffer because we have to meet a deadline, then my family will have to suffer in kind. My wife knows that she married a stand-up guy, and I’ve always been a good teammate.

…and all for one

So if you see one of your people struggling with an assignment that will keep them in the office half the night, maybe you can skip the kid’s karate practice or dance lessons just this once, and lend a hand. It’ll be good for your karma, and also your reputation at work.

Remember - nobody likes a selfish prick. Don’t be that guy. Get on the other end of that load!

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Behind the Mask

Posted by enrique s in Career on July 29th, 2010

Mask
Photo by Ben Fredericson (xjrlokix)

We all have many roles to play in life. You may not only be a parent, but a child. A subordinate, and also a supervisor. A charitable person, but maybe a cheap bastard from time to time. A loyal, hard-working employee, or a misanthropic blogger. ;-) Each of these roles require us to don a mask, to help differentiate between the parts we play.

Most of the time, I’m an agreeable sort. If I can help someone out, I will help them. Most of the time. But there are times when I have to “dumb it down”, and that requires another mask. It’s my “regular guy” mask, the one that I wrote about in this post: Incognito. Nobody likes a know-it-all. So, I put on my regular guy mask and clam up. People tend to get uneasy if there’s someone smarter among them.

Then there are the masks that I put on when I have to ream someone out. One is irritated but civil, and the other is similar to Dave Schultz dropping his gloves without actually hitting anybody (I’m a Rangers fan and hate the Flyers, but Schultz was the ultimate badass). I use the first when there’s a discrepancy on my electric bill. The second one was used on my son the other day. Kids need to fear something, especially sometimes-snotty teenagers. They need, on occasion, to straighten up and fly right. So if he thinks the old man is a little crazy, so much the better. I repeat: I go nuts without hitting anyone!

Think of all of the different roles that you have to play in the course of a day. At work, maybe you’re the person who every comes to for personal advice. Or, you’re a sounding board for the disgruntled in your office. Maybe you’re the authority in some particular field, who gets called into the middle of a meeting to help clarify an issue. There are masks for each of these roles.

And then there are the masks that we hide behind. These are our disguises. Like my “regular guy” mask, they help keep people at arm’s length. I don’t like to disclose everything about myself (which is why I don’t do Facebook), so part of me remains a mystery. Just like Alfred (albeit a younger, sexier, female Alfred) is to Bruce Wayne/Batman, only my wife knows that I write this blog (and she’ll kill me for comparing her to an elderly butler). I don’t think my friends would get the whole idea, so that’s another mask that I hide behind: The Luddite. When they ask a computer question, I feign ignorance.

So, what masks do you hide behind? Let me know in the comments, as I’ll look forward to reading about them. Until then, I remain:

Mysteriously yours,

The Corporate Barbarian

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Dave Schultz, Philadelphia Flyers

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Us and Them

Posted by enrique s in Career, Motivation on July 14th, 2010

The division where I work was formed from the merger of two separate companies. Each company had a distinct product line, and there wasn’t much interaction between the two sides. This did not change when the people were co-located in the same building. In fact, I think the close proximity led to a polarization of the two groups. While the people all worked in the same area, there seemed to be an invisible wall between the groups. The cliques were out in full force.

With any consolidation comes the expectation of a cost take-out. For instance, you don’t need two managers for one department. Who stays in control is often determined by who wins the power struggle between the big shots to lead the new combined division. Directors like to surround themselves with their own “guys”; their own people provide a comfort zone in which to operate. My division was no exception; the losers either left on their own or were told not to let the door hit them on the ass on the way out.

As you can imagine, watching your old management team being unceremoniously shown the door can cause morale problems for the losing side. The have-nots start to watch their backs. With no champion in the director’s seat, they have to prove themselves all over again, like new hires. More resentment follows, and the chasm grows. But time heals many wounds, and new alliances are formed as needed. What follows is a period of peaceful apprehension. It’s like that scene in Independence Day, where you see the Israeli and Arab forces working side, fighting the aliens, all the while keeping an eye on each other.

But what can help a group of people to congeal? Is there a magic formula? I think there is, and I’ve seen it firsthand. It’s called a takeover. See, my division was reassigned to a new, larger superdivision. With that came changes to all of our familiar systems, and a shitload of new procedures. Months of mind-numbing training preceded the changeover. The patronizing attitude of the new management towards us made us seethe. It was us against them.

“The enemy of my enemy is my friend.” - Sun-tzu

So, united against a common enemy, the once-disfunctional division became one. We saw our differences as few, and the things we had in common more important. Like the former enemies in Independence Day, a greater “evil” forced us to work together. We were all “us” now; there wasn’t any “them” anymore.

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