Photo by clementine gallot

A recent Yahoo! Shine article discussed the 4 lies that can cost you your job.  I’m sure that we’ve all experienced some of these first-hand.  You can read the original article by clicking the following link:

4 Lies that Can Cost You Your Job

The article listed four lies, but I can think of more instances that lead to immediate dismissal.  Here’s the list, with my comments:

Pulling the Healthy Sick Card - How many times has this happened?  The person you have a scheduled meeting with suddenly calls in sick on a Monday.  It usually happens when the weather is nice.  These are the same people who bail out early on a Friday with various ailments.  Even if your boss doesn’t see the developing pattern, you can be sure the people who you stood up will see it.

The Faux Emergency/Appointment - I’ve seen this happen to a coworker.  He feigned a bad toothache, and left for an “emergency dentist appointment”.  Yeah, right.  A couple of hours later, the boss ran into him at OTB, betting the ponies.  I think he got a letter in his personnel file for that little stunt.  Another guy called in sick, and ran into another “ill” coworker on the train to Penn Station.  They both had job interviews in Manhattan.  They swore each other to secrecy.  I have yet to break my promise.  You better keep up your end, Ray! (Just kidding)

Pointing the Finger - You don’t want to get a reputation as a shirker, whether it be work or responsibility that you shirk.  Blaming others for your screw-ups won’t win you any friends.  Nobody likes an excuse-maker.  If it’s your fault, take your lumps and learn from it.  Even better, if you know that you’ve screwed the pooch before anyone else discovers it, point it out.  It will win you points for honesty, as your mistake will inevitably surface.

Fudging Hours and Fudging Expenses - I know two guys who got in BIG trouble for this one.  A manager and his employee would leave a couple of hours early in the afternoons to work on the manager’s boat.  If that wasn’t bad enough, they charged overtime to the company.  Not the brightest move.  They weren’t terminated, but their reputations were trashed for several years.

Not mentioned in the article, but also grounds for termination:

Theft - Back when I was working retail, we had a large “shrink” in our inventory number in the electronics department.  Someone was stealing video games, so headquarters launched an investigation.  Everyone blamed the junior hoodlums, the local neighborhood kids who hung around the store.  Not only did they find the source of the “shrink” (an employee from the department), but they caught a security guard throwing merchandise into the dumpster (they caught him while he was retrieving it after the store closed), and a cashier skimming from her drawer.  All three were terminated, and then prosecuted.  I guess they couldn’t use that job as a reference, either.

Cooking the Books - This cost a VP of Finance and some of his staff their jobs.  Under-reporting income will do that to you.  Being arrogant to the auditors didn’t help.  He could have kept his little ruse going if he were a nicer guy.  Let’s just say there is something to be said about karma.

Physical Violence - Want to get booted out the door in a hurry?  Hit somebody.  If you’re lucky, you may only get suspended, and have to attend therapy.  But don’t count on it.  The days of stepping outside and settling things with your fists are long gone.  If you’re that pissed off, put your hands in your pockets and walk away.

Misuse of the Computer - Each morning, when I log onto my office computer, I get a message reminding me that the computer should be used for work-related purposes only.  That means no Solitaire, Youtube, or porn.  If your boss is looking for a reason to get rid of you, this would be a good one.

Did I miss anything?  What else will get you fired?

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