The Office Super Bowl Pool
Super Bowl week usually includes the great tradition of the office pool. Rather than a straight bet with a point spread, this pool involves picking boxes. This draws even the non-football fan, as they can watch the big game with some interest, even when the commercials are over.
The Grid of Boxes
The pool involves a grid of boxes on a letter-sized piece of paper, usually printed landscape-style. Each box represents the last number in the score for a particular quarter. The sheet contains a total of 120 boxes laid out as shown below (click the image for a larger view):
As you can see, the grid is devoid of any numbers for the scores. The yellow boxes will represent the scores for the Saints, while the green boxes will represent the scores for the Colts. These scores will be picked after every white box has been selected by the pool participants.
Picking Your Boxes
The first step is finding out how much each box will cost you. The higher the cost of the box, the bigger the potential payout. It’s that risk vs. reward thing. It really doesn’t matter which box you pick, as the scores will be selected randomly after all of the boxes have been claimed. A rule of thumb that I use is to pick only one box per row and/or one box per column. That way, if I get stuck with a lousy score of 5, it only ruins one of my selections. Here’s what the sheet will look like when all of the boxes have been selected (click the image for a larger view):
Picking the Scores
The person who runs the pool will probably be the one who picks the random scores that will be used to fill in the yellow and green boxes. They will certainly do this under some sort of supervision, as the witnesses will verify that the choices were random, and thus fair. This can be done by putting pieces of paper numbered 0 through 9 in an envelope, and letting a neutral party pick them out one at a time for each specific box. I’ve seen people use two sets of numbers, with the team name also written on each slip of paper. Here’s what the sheet will look like after the scores have been picked (click the image for a larger view):
Sizing Up Your Chances of Winning
After the scores have been picked, you’ll receive a copy of the completed grid. Now, you can see if you’ve got any chance of winning some loot. Scores such as 3-0 and 7-0 are good for the end of the first quarter and first half. The zero can represent 0 or 10. If you get stuck with a 5 or an 8, you’d better hope for a high-scoring game.
The Payouts
Now we get to the important stuff. You’ve plunked down your cash, and wound up with some potentially good boxes. If you’re in a $10-a-box pool, the total payout will be $1,000 (100 boxes time $10 a piece). In a simple pool, you’d get a set payout for the score at the end of each quarter. For example, the payout schedule may look like this:
End of 1st Quarter: $100
Halftime: $200
End of 3rd Quarter: $300
Final Score: $400
So, if the score for the end of the 1st quarter is Saints 7, Colts 6, then Paulie would win $100:
If the final score is Colts 35, Saints 13, then Googs would win $400:
So, for Googs’ investment of $70 (7 boxes at $10 each), he pulled in $400, over a 500% return. While I don’t advocate gambling for everyone, it sure keeps up your interest in a lopsided game.
As this is a primer on boxes, I didn’t get into some of the more advanced concepts like instant wins, satellite boxes, or the difference between the 4th quarter score versus an overtime score (a rather remote possibility, but they did come within 1:08 in Super Bowl XXXVIII).
If you’re not a big football fan, I hope this little primer helped, especially if you’re not a crazy American like me. And even though the football Giants are sitting at home watching the game instead of playing in it, I’ll stay glued to the tube. I think I have a decent shot of bringing home some dough this Sunday, and you can bet that the beer will be cold. Good luck, and enjoy the game!
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Goal Status: January in Review
Spurred on by a fortune cookie, I wrote about my modest goals for the year in this post:
So, now that we’re a month into the new year, I’ll give you my status. Here goes:
1. Drop 50 pounds
I lost 14 pounds in January, primarily by sticking to the Metabolic Diet (thank you Dr. Di Pasquale). If you can live without bread, you’ll have success with it. I haven’t had any terrible cravings, and the worst thing that I ate for the entire month was a slice of pepperoni pizza on my son’s birthday. I achieved 28% of my goal in the month, so I’m off to a good start.
2. Benchpress and Deadlift 300 pounds
I’ve been hitting the weights three times a week, and I increase the amount of weight every Monday. I’m using a 5 rep x 5 set routine, and I’m benching 220 pounds and deadlifting 210 pounds. I’m taking it easy because of my bad back. You can see that I’ve got a long way to go.
3. Post more frequently
Eight posts for the month. Pathetic! Well, I’m way behind on this goal. I’d hoped to post 5 times a week, but between a death in the family, a crazy work schedule, several birthdays, and the demise of my home computer, I’ve really dropped the ball. Hopefully February will yield more posts.
4. Fund my 401(k)
Thank goodness for automation. This is a set-it-and-forget-it goal. My contribution gets deducted from my paycheck each week, and gets dumped with the rest of my soldiers in an index fund with a low expense ratio. I’ll hit my goal, no problem.
5. Read a new book each month
With a broken computer, I’ve had the time. It’s a good thing, too, because Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment isn’t the easiest thing to read. I’ve also read Never Be Lied to Again by David J. Lieberman. So that’s two in one month. A good start. I’m playing with house money.
6. Run 3 miles
I’m currently walking 3 miles each morning, at a really fast pace, so it won’t be long before I start jogging a little bit. It sure is cold at 6 am, so there aren’t any neighbors that I have to run in to. I hope to be able to run at least a half mile by my next report.
So that’s two that I’ve exceeded, two that I’m on track with achieving, and two that I need to kick some ass in order to achieve them.
How are you doing with your goals? If you’ve fallen short, don’t give up; just start over. There are many bloggers that start on Groundhog Day, so why not join them? Good luck!
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The Week that Everything Broke
I’ve had a rough week. Not because the transmission went on my car. Not because my computer was on the shelf for a few days while we worked out some spyware issues. It wasn’t that my son broke a bracket on his braces, or that our whiz-bang forecasting system at work crashed while we were racing a deadline to finish our 2010 plan. All of these things seemed trivial after we received the real bad news.
As I was getting ready for work yesterday, my wife received a call from her cousin. Her cousin’s husband , the Big Guy, had been battling cancer for a few months. He struggled mightily to overcome it, but apparently he was sicker than we thought. The Big Guy passed away during the night. And that folks, was the cherry on top of the shit sundae of my week.
I’d always liked the Big Guy, ever since we sat next to each other at some family party many years ago. He had suffered through many health issues, including multiple heart attacks, but always had a vibrant air about him. He reveled us with stories about his vacations to Italy; how he shunned the canned Perillo Tours, and ventured about to find restaurants and museums on his own.
After that introduction, I’d always seek out the Big Guy at family gatherings. He always had a new story to tell, and I looked forward to hearing them. And I wasn’t the only one. The Big Guy would always draw a crowd. He’d offer advice on new restaurants, or a new wine that he had sampled. He was very popular, and I never heard anyone say a bad word about him. We promised to get together more frequently, but you know how that goes.
The Big Guy embodied many of the qualities that I hold dear. He was a risk taker, a bon vivant, who loved to try new things. Not content with sitting around the house watching soap operas after retiring from his teaching job, he started a new passion: painting. He was pretty talented, and he showed us pictures of his artwork at my son’s graduation party last June.
But the thing that I’ll remember most about the Big Guy was his devotion to his wife. They were clearly an ideal match. You couldn’t tell where one ended and the other began. They were the perfect compliment to each other, and by the look in their eyes, they understood that. His passing will be especially hard on her.
Tomorrow, I’ll see the Big Guy for the last time, just before his funeral. Only this time, he won’t have any new stories to tell me. I guess that I’ll have to make do with the ones that he shared in the past.
That’s why this week sucked big time.
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Sins of Omission
Photo by Lori Greig
A husband neglects to tell his wife that he forgot to fill up her car after using all of her gas. A child doesn’t mention that he failed a science test because it’s close to Christmas. You neglect to tell your boss that you came in 20 minutes late this morning. What do these minor sins of omission have in common? The people who’ve been kept in the dark will find out about it, eventually.
Everybody does it
I guess you could call it karma, or what comes around goes around. Many times, we don’t share the entire truth with people because A. We don’t want to hurt their feelings, or B. We don’t want to catch a rash of shit for our mistakes. Probably more often the latter. I know that I’ve kept things quiet a number of times, usually for my own benefit. It must be that selfish gene that I was born with; it causes many of my character flaws.
No big deal
Most of these secrets are harmless. We rationalize them away, because they are minor offenses. But what happens when we extend our tolerance, and really start to slack off? What happens when we’re tempted to cover up a major screw-up with silence? If the inevitable happens, and someone finds out that could do you harm, you’re screwed. Just like some of the leaders of my company’s finance department.
Big rationalizations
See, there was some concern over the accuracy of our financial statements. It seems that our leader was turning a blind eye to some shady accounting practices. I guess he figured that what the auditors didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them. But we have some pretty sharp auditors, the kind that take delight in pouring over balance sheets with a fine-toothed comb. They get even more excited when they spot something fishy.
Repercussions
So, our finance honcho and his henchmen started to circle the wagons. This raised even more suspicion (There’s that thing that I mentioned about being found out). And believe me, there’s hell to pay when you’ve crossed an auditor, and they find out about it. So, for our CFO, his sin of omission cost him, and his staff, their jobs.
So, if you’re going to keep something to yourself, make sure it’s a minor thing. You don’t want to get nailed for a big screw-up. Come clean early; it might save your job.
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Don’t Go Through Life Seeking Forgiveness
Posted by enrique s in Career, Motivation, Productivity, Rants on January 26th, 2010
Photo by spud murphy
We all run into the type of person who’s always sorry for disappointing you. They’re late for a holiday dinner. “I couldn’t find my car keys.” They forget to pick up milk on the way home. “I was in a rush, and forgot to write it down.” They don’t show up for an important meeting. “I was on a telecon with the rep from XYZ Corp, and couldn’t break away.” Sometimes, we might even do it ourselves, and we expect to be forgiven for our small indiscretion.
My dog ate my homework
But what happens when it becomes a pattern, a modus operandi? You’re always apologizing for something that you did or didn’t do. Your reputation suffers. People label you as a person that can’t be counted on, because your track record shows that you’ll eventually fail to come through in the clutch. If you can’t be relied upon, what value do you have to other people? I worked for a controller who fired a highly skilled worker because he called in sick too often on Mondays. How much was too often? Twice. I kid you not.
…but at least you’re here
I had a cousin who wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, if you get my point. But his boss absolutely loved him, no matter how many times he had to re-do his work. The secret: he always perservered, and left no job unfinished. He was a man of his word. He always showed up for work, too, and on time. The saying, “You ain’t worth a damn, but at least you’re here”, would apply in this case. His boss valued his reliability over his somewhat lacking ability.
Pull your weight
I had a discussion in this vein with my son the other day. We were talking about the remaining free agent pitchers, and Jon Garland’s name came up. I told him that I thought that Garland was just mediocre, but that he always ate up lots of innings. In other words, he wasn’t in the same class as John Lackey or Rich Harden, but that you could count on him for his consistency. He would win about 12 games and give the bullpen a break, just what you look for in a 5th starter. Harden and Ben Sheets, while possessing far more ability, are always coming up with sore arms. Garland will probably make about $4 million this year. Not too shabby for mediocrity.
Making the cut
Look around your office. It might be full of mediocre workers, but they probably share some of the same traits as my cousin and Jon Garland. They always show up, like cops to a loud party. They can be counted on, and their reliability may be the only thing keeping them employed. So when push comes to shove, and it’s time for downsizing, a worker who is more skilled but less reliable might be sacrificed instead of a less skilled worker who can always be counted on.
Think about that before you have to make an excuse. Like Jethro Gibbs says, don’t apologize. It’s a sign of weakness.
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My Goals for 2010
The odds of hitting your target go up dramatically when you aim at it. - advice from a fortune cookie
A Disclaimer
I don’t believe in luck, curses, the Evil Eye, four-leaf clovers, rubbing a rabbit’s foot, crossing my fingers, knocking on wood, or the power of wishing wells. I routinely delete those chain emails that promise untold horrors if I don’t forward them to ten of my friends (sounds more like an Amway pyramid scheme to me. I’ll save my friends the potential horror). I’ll walk under ladders, step on sidewalk cracks, open my umbrella indoors, and even mention that a pitcher has a no-hitter going on. Oh, and I don’t believe in horoscopes or fortunes, either.
Change is good
But a recent meal of Chinese food brought an unexpected benefit besides the MSG headache and indigestion: a fortune cookie that reminded me to state my goals for the year. The simple statement is listed above, but truer words have never been written. I’m going to list my goals for 2010, but first I’ll give you the behavioral changes that will make my goals a reality:
Eat healthier foods - I actually started this before the New Year, and it’s paid off in a smaller waistline. I started substituting salads and fruits for Doritos and chocolate chip cookies, and I’ve dropped about 12 pounds this year. But some of that weight loss is due to change #2…
Exercise regularly - I’m currently doing 5 days of exercise a week. I try to lift weights at least four times a week, and get some walking in on the weekends. Work has been crazy since before Christmas, so I’ve been leaving and getting home in the dark. When things calm down, I’ll try to walk before work.
Get to bed early - Or really, earlier than usual. I’m trying to get 6 hours of sleep a night. Old habits die hard, but the exercising has been making me sleepy.
Have more patience - this applies to having more patience to let these changes take effect before I throw in the towel. “Stay the course”, as Ronald Reagan once said. “One bite at a time” is my new mantra.
On to the goals
So, if I follow all of these behavioral changes, I should be able to meet my goals for the year. Here they are:
- Drop 50 pounds - Yes, you read that correctly. I started the year just a shade under 230, and I’d like to get back to my fighting weight of 180. I feel this warrants the pole position, as I’m starting to block out the sun. I’ve already dropped 12 pounds, so this is definitely doable. Besides, I’ve done it before, about 7 years ago.
- Benchpress and Deadlift 300 pounds - Why does a beancounter need to be able to lift 300 pounds? Well, just to shut my smartass son up. He thinks the old geezer is over the hill. I’ll show him! Besides, I like lifting weights.
- Post more frequently - Because I have a full-time job, I struggle to find the time to post these strange thoughts that rattle around in my cranium. Going to bed early won’t help, as i usually brainstorm after everyone has gone to bed, but hopefully eating all of that healthy food will increase my energy. I’d like to hit 250 posts for 2010.
- Fund my 401(k) - This is an easy one, as I make it automatic. It’s good to put a couple of softies on the list; achieving them keeps you motivated. I did the same thing last year when the market tanked. I followed Warren Buffett’s advice and dumped more money into my 401(k) when everyone was panicking.
- Read a new book each month - I was doing really well with my reading last year until Thanksgiving, and then the wheels seemed to fall off. I’ll set aside time each day to read. I’m open to suggestions. Has anybody read a good book lately?
- Run 3 miles - Since I’m currently walking 3 miles, this may be the toughest goal to achieve. I don’t enjoy running, and have never gotten the “buzz” that so many of my running friends gush about. I’ll start this one slowly, as I’m no fan of shin splints. Can anyone recommend a good running shoe?
So, there you have it. Nothing impossible to achieve, but challenging to some degree. I’ll keep you posted on how I’m doing. So, what’s your biggest goal for this year?
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how to invest - here, at the end of all things "I'm glad to be with you, Samwise Gamgee... here at the end of all things" -Frodo Baggins If you are not familiar with the Lord of the Rings, in this scene Frodo is woefully clinging to Samwise on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange. He is speaking -......
Police Your Area
Posted by enrique s in Organizing, Productivity, Rants, lifehack on January 19th, 2010
On my morning walks, I notice the same items of refuse strewn along the side of the road. There’s the Afrin bottle that some sinus sufferer discarded. Empty beer cans from some long-ago party. The occasional roadkill bird or squirrel. The stuff never seems to move. I wonder why the homeowners don’t clean up this junk; doesn’t it bother them that this junk has taken up residence outside of their residences? They have failed to “police the area.”
This got me thinking, between puffs on my cigar in the frigid morning air, about the other things that we should clean up in our lives but never get around to. I can’t help it, it’s just my OCD rearing its ugly head, forcing me to organize. At work, it could be that pile of reports on the edge of your desk. Like the Afrin bottle, they probably had some value at one point, but have outlived their usefulness. Or that elliptical trainer in your basement, the one that serves as a clothesline for your laundry. In this instance, policing the area might include posting this unused gym equipment on Craigslist.
Of course, you don’t have to limit this to physical things. How about unused gym memberships? Good intentions that went for naught. Or subscriptions to magazines that you don’t have any interest in reading. Anybody out there have a Netflix subscription? When was the last time you rented a movie? Police this area by canceling those memberships that are underutilized.
Then I thought about my relationships. My life-long friends, they’ll never be cast to the curb. But of my casual acquaintances, I’m sure that I could think of a few that aren’t doing it for me anymore, notably the Conspiracy Guy at work. Who needs the negative vibe that he gives off? It’s tougher to police this area, especially when feelings could get hurt. I’ll have to be delicate. Or sneaky.
So, unlike my neighbors who don’t clean up their front yards, I’m going to “police the area” of my life, starting with things, and moving on to relationships. I’m sure that all of this junk piling up is affecting my productivity. Time to run lean and mean.
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Are You on “Lombardi Time”?
Posted by enrique s in Career, Motivation, Productivity, Rants on January 14th, 2010
Vince Lombardi, the all-time great football coach of the Green Bay Packers, epitomized preparation and hard work. He also operated on “Lombardi Time”, the principle that you should show up to a meeting, prepared, at least 10-15 minutes early. His winning record speaks to the success of his time management. Alas, Lombardi Time seems to be foreign to many of my coworkers, and they demonstrate their ignorance of this principle far too often.
“The individual who is habitually tardy in meeting and appointment, will never be respected or successful in life” - Rev. Willbur Fisk
Early this week, I was in two separate meetings where the start time was treated as a loose guideline. In one meeting, one late comer literally stood on a chair and turned the clock back to joke that he was early. Everyone laughed, except the guy running the meeting. In the second meeting, another late arrival disrupted the meeting by slamming the door shut, stepping on another person’s foot, and grunting his way out of his coat. I’m sure that Miss Manners would have been horrified. I know that Jake would have been fuming.
“He was always late on principle, his principle being that punctuality is the thief of time.” - Oscar Wilde
Jake, you ask? Jake was a big shot in the first company that I worked for. Jake also operated on Lombardi Time, which is where I first heard the expression. Jake expected all of his managers to be on time for his monthly staff meeting. I pity the fool who arrived late for Jake. See, Jake wouldn’t tolerate any Johnny-come-latelies who barged in and disrupted the proceedings. Jake was an old-school hardass. His remedy was locking the door at the scheduled start time, and then taking attendance! If your name didn’t show up on the attendance list, you were in for an ass-whoopin’. Needless to say, you were only late for Jake’s meeting once. The second lateness was your ticket out the door.
“The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.” - Franklin P. Jones
I’m not saying you should show up for every meeting 15 minutes early. The cost of the time spent waiting for meetings to start over the course of a year would be staggering. I’m just saying that you should show up early. Let’s say two minutes early. That gives you enough time to pick out a choice seat and spread out your materials. Oh, yeah, and when your Outlook calendar reminder pops up 15 minutes before the meeting, this is not the time to start printing out the attachments for the meeting. If you follow my end-of-the-day system, the attachments should already be sitting on your desk when you walk in (you’ll have printed them the night before). If you are late, try to be a little less conspicuous. You’ll be a less disruptive force. And Jesus, don’t step on my feet!
I used to be arrogant, and felt that my time was more important than anyone else’s. Running a few of your own meetings makes you appreciate the punctual people. I’m not perfect; I’ll still occasionally find myself racing toward the closing door of a meeting. But I’m working on improving my on-time performance, especially after reading this quote:
Punctuality is the stern virtue of men of business, and the graceful courtesy of princes. ~ Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
Here’s some good reading from the coach:
If you liked this post, why not subscribe? It’s free, and I’ll never spam you. Take your pick, email or RSS reader. Thanks for reading!
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This is the fourth installment in the Humpday Sarcasm series. You can read the first three parts by clicking on the links:
Humpday Sarcasm: Ten Things That I Wish I’d Said First
I thought that I’d do something different this week, and devote the entire list of sarcasms to George Carlin. Here are a few from the master:
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they’re cramming for their final exam.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
Just a few tidbits for a Wednesday in January. Enjoy!
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Lessons from Watching Jeopardy!
Posted by enrique s in Career, Leadership, Productivity on January 5th, 2010
The wise man knows he doesn’t know. The fool doesn’t know he doesn’t know. - Lao Tzu
One of the TV shows that I like to watch is Jeopardy! Sure, I like to show off how smart I am for my wife, which counteracts my failure to remember to take out the garbage. But I also use it as a barometer of how much I don’t know. And that’s today lesson, grasshopper.
The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.
-William Shakespeare
I think it’s in our nature to want to learn new things. The problem is, many corporations develop procedures that force everyone to do things the same exact way. While this does create a consistency, it can also stifle any positive development. I’ve talked about this in the past in this post:
The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing. -Socrates
Procedures serve their purpose. You need some consistency in the day-to-day operations of your company. But procedures should be written that allow a little “wiggle room”, in order to let you deviate a bit. Otherwise, they should be changed when necessary. The business world is constantly evolving, and companies must be flexible enough to be able to change on the fly.
Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomfort. - Arnold Bennett
Procedures keep us in our comfort zones. They are the Golden Handcuffs, the leash that keeps us in line. They’re the excuse of last resort. If your strategy doesn’t work, you can always blame it on the procedure that you followed. But why blindly follow a procedure that’s forcing your company to weaken itself? Take a hard look at your procedures, and change the ones that do more harm than good. Break out of that cage right now!
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